Bingeing is a form of self-sabotage in its greatest sense! It’s doing something to excess that isn’t good for you and will take you into the bottom half of the rainbow. While this Dream Breaker may give you the comfort you are looking for in the short-term, the relief rarely lasts and you may be left feeling empty and lost. This may make you crave that short-term fix more and more. It may be used as an emotional crutch to avoid dealing with other issues in life!
Bingeing may manifest as an over reliance or addiction to many things, such as; food, drink, smoking, drugs, sex, shopping and even exercise. These are all symptoms that if left unchecked, may have devastating effects on people. This may severely impact their ability to lead happy and fulfilling lives.
People may be secretive about this Dream Breaker and become good at hiding their addiction to those closest to them. It may indicate that somebody is troubled and is suffering from low self-worth and self-esteem issues. Due to its complexities, professional help is usually needed get to the root cause of the bingeing and help break long-standing habits.
My bingeing was always centred on food. It was my way of dealing with the self-hate I felt for myself because I suppressed my sexuality. As a result I struggled with yo-yo dieting and obesity. Bizarrely I found it impacted me in two ways.
1 Bingeing for comfort
My internalised emotions had no outlet so I would get stressed and be anxious. My escape was to seek comfort in eating. I would head to the local shop and before I knew it I’d bought 3 or 4 bars of chocolate, a couple of tubes of fruit lollies and a tub of ice cream. I would hide that I was doing this from family and friends. It didn’t take me long to devour my stash of goodies. It had the effect of giving me an immediate high. But the comfort eating was short lived and I would be left feeling sick, disgusted and ashamed. I also put on loads of weight, so I hated myself even more.
2 Bingeing to celebrate
While I had low self-esteem there were times where I wanted to reward myself for something I did well. Unfortunately the reward would be a form of self-sabotage. I would reward myself with excessive treats, undoing any good that I had achieved. I would be saying to myself; “Hey Allan, you are doing very well! Well done! You really deserve a treat!” But the treat would never be just one scoop of ice cream, a small chocolate bar or a single biscuit. It was always more. It’s almost like my subconscious mind was telling me that I didn’t deserve to feel good. Then guilt sets in. I would realise that I’d put myself in to this self-fulfilling cycle of working towards achieving things. Rewarding myself excessively on the wrong foods and ultimately feeling guilty because I’d over indulged.
Bingeing is a very complex Dream Breaker that can stop you achieving your goals. It affects people differently and any symptoms should be taken seriously. I had to seek professional help to guide me through the anxiety I was feeling and the bingeing that I did to hide my low self-worth. If you are experiencing any of these, it is important to talk to someone and share how you are feeling. Please seek advice to help you make changes and put your life in the direction you want to go.
My partners may be able to help you. They share my values and want to help people overcome the challenges they face. Use the partner directory to find and engage a service to seek advice and begin to make the changes to help you take the next step.